Saturday, 5 November 2011

Mirror Mirror

Mirror mirror on the wall, tell me the truth before my face falls.
Am I red or am I blue, because I have forgotten who is who.
I have lines that go up and down, that is why I wear a frown,
I wash and cream and moisturize is that why my skin is thin
I am looking at a face I can not see, is it really me.

Growing old is not the easiest thing to do, but since we have no choice
we have to make the best of it. I know I went to bed everynight when I was younger but I am sure I did not wake up looking like this. 50 is the knock on the door, the question is "do we want to answer it?"

For the past 30 years we have been on automatic pilot with our wings spread and flying high. I don't think I have to worry too much about flying high but the spreading of my wings has just kicked in.
I have more wings then I need right now. My highs sag , I have that under arm wing thing going on,
and my breast are more familiar with my tummy then I  ever was. So I have decided not to run any more I might just fall flat on my face from all the extra weight I am carring around or take off and fly (If  I was to run too fast).
So there you  are standing if front of that wonderful mirror that you wanted so much back when you were
in your twenties. You know the one , it is on the back of your bathroom door.  Ya just where you want it.  There is nothing like getting out of the shower and turning around and taking a good look at your well groomed body.  Well, you know the mirror is only 2 feet wide thank God it makes you look skinny. You lose an inch on your waist line just looking in it.  So that is one thing you do not want to get ride of  when you down size.  That mirror I am taking with me.  The only problem is when you turn around you get the full view of your back side when you are looking in the mirror over the sink. Wow.  Now where did that come from.
 I mean the mirror over the sink.  Who put that there.

I remember paying a lot of money to have this bathroom redone but I do not remember that my butt was going to be exposed so that you could get a full Monty view.  Next time we do a bathroom make over I am hiring a women in her eightys to do it.  I am sure she will have thought about all this  naked body exposure  over fifty stuff. This is stuff nobody should ever see.

Then there is the medicine cabinet problem. Now if you thought it was full before think twice.  There are the 8 vitamin bottles, the 3 boxes of osteoporsis pills, hormonal and estrogen  bottles, evening primerose bottle (thats for the hot flashes), Grecian formula( for my husbands hair), asprin ( so our blood stays thin) a magnifying glass ( so you can read what you are taking) my hair dying boxes ( I always have two of those) and the many ,many jars and tubes of age defying creams. It is no wonder we can not find the advil any more.
 Then there is the issue of where do you hide the depends. Like they are not small, remember the tampons you could through them in a draw. You certainly do not want to store them on an open shelf so the world can see them they probably would not fit.

There still is that issue of the mirror. Like where do you get a large magnifying mirror to put on the wall..  I need to know because have you ever tried  to pluck an eye brow or line your eyes  with your readers on. Now how is one suppose to do that... Then once I get that big magnifying mirror how big will my butt and boobs look. 

 Like really could this be more complicated....

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